ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The air taste purple.
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