your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize