its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize