Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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