Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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