i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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