She's JV to your varsity
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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