I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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