Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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