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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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