Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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