also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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