I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize