His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize