Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
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We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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