You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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