Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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