we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
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you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
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Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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