I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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