Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
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The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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