well I can't set my house on fire every night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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