But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize