when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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