Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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