so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize