there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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