I have demons in me.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
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We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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