As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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