my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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