I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
That's how pantless uber rides happen
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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