Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize