So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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