ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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