We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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