i permit you to call me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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