you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
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She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
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I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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