To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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