Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just high enough for therapy.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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