my mouth tastes like poor choices
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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