Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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