Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
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I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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