yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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