OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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