apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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