Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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