I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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