"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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