I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize