if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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