You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
